heaven's design

a sign to think about from the cursed gibbs gardens

what we know or don’t know ourselves to suffer from is most likely created from our own makings, our very own hell

before you come to think the thought, “I’m already living in hell”, maybe question who did that

oh, it was me! I made my own life “hell”.

I first saw this in my own parents, seeing the way they are and attempted to parent us and how they operate, “they devised their own hell, marrying each other the way they were and then living all these years together the way they are.”

own hell,

own hell

and then you start to cruelly see it in other people, the way they suffer because how they see things is the kind of hell they think they’re living in

I can see the type of hell I’ve created for myself and I have to constantly think of the one I used to be, slowly crafting and designing the hell I’m living today. think of her because there is no one else to blame. it’s okay to cry about it every now and then, especially if you like thinking that you’re living in hell. I have cried about it because there is no one else to blame - beyond several things I can name. and so for breakfast everyday, really, I gulp tons of unrelenting determination. I eat that much determination because there is really no one else to blame.

with no one else to blame, you can only begin to think for yourself and realize what you are capable of. so much heaven is in store.

all the faces I know live inside my head standing behind me.

I heard and have felt this before,

this hell never actually goes away.

it’s time to know how to make your own heaven, and live in it.

meme image I found a few weeks after writing this… @brutalrecovery